ARA (Apple Remote Access) will enable you to share or even use each others computers over a modem connection. Timbuktu is my favorite though. Version 4.0 is out now with many new features. Both of these programs will likely do what you want.
Of course Telefinder Server and Client will let you set up a system like this one and anyone running the client could share their resources with you. You might want to download the demo version and give it a try. It might be exactly want you want, and it works over modem connections or TCPIP over the internet.
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